By Despondent Correspondent
NEW DELHI: The US government may accept the offer of aid for superstorm Sandy made by Hafiz Saeed, the chief of JuD, founder of Lashkar-e-Taiba and Pakistan's moron-in-chief, provided he accept certain terms and conditions... or as they put it "jail term in poor conditions".
Saeed, sources say, is not your run-of-the-mill terrorist. In fact he doesn't run at all, leading to a rather roly-poly appearance not befitting a dreaded terrorist. On being asked about his aversion to running he reportedly said, "Who do you think I am? A red-haired woman called Lola?" To avoid all confusion, an aide clarified: "He's not Lola, god promise".
The west as well as India's intelligence services were taken aback by Saeed's benevolent aid offer. "We never knew he loved us Americans so much," a US official said in a voice choked with emotion.
"Here we were, planning to aim a Predator missile at his copious posterior and he offers us aid. Shame on us," the official added.
Sources said Saeed interrupted a US and Indian flag-burning rally to make the offer. In fact, Saeed himself was unavailable for comment as he was busy arranging a suicide attack function. Apparently, he was supposed to perform the song "Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door" for the fidayeen. "It is not a knock-knock joke," the source explained.
Moved by Saeed's generosity, the US had decided to give even more aid to Pakistan, a huge chunk of which is expected to go to LeT's parent organization ISI — India's favourite agency. LeT is expected to use the funds to train more jehadis, buy explosives and bid for an IPL team.
Meanwhile, the American propensity to provide billions of dollars as well as military supplies to the very country that breeds terrorists and gives shelter to Osama bin Laden continues to baffle the rest of the world.
Mocktale's resident expert Iknow Jackshit blamed it on a strange condition afflicting a number of people around the world called Acquired Intelligence Deficiency Syndrome. "The disease is also widespread among voters in India as well as most of the population in Pakistan," he said.
Amid all these developments, India's premier intelligence agency — who Intel refused to sponsor as there was no "intel inside" — descended on the hotel room of a visiting Pakistani politician to question him.
However, they were disappointed to see it was former PM Shujat Hussain and not the attractive Hina Rabbani Khar. Sources called it a routine intelligence failure.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/mocktale/Will-US-accept-terror-chief-Saeeds-aid-offer/articleshow/17180295.cms?
NEW DELHI: The US government may accept the offer of aid for superstorm Sandy made by Hafiz Saeed, the chief of JuD, founder of Lashkar-e-Taiba and Pakistan's moron-in-chief, provided he accept certain terms and conditions... or as they put it "jail term in poor conditions".
Saeed, sources say, is not your run-of-the-mill terrorist. In fact he doesn't run at all, leading to a rather roly-poly appearance not befitting a dreaded terrorist. On being asked about his aversion to running he reportedly said, "Who do you think I am? A red-haired woman called Lola?" To avoid all confusion, an aide clarified: "He's not Lola, god promise".
The west as well as India's intelligence services were taken aback by Saeed's benevolent aid offer. "We never knew he loved us Americans so much," a US official said in a voice choked with emotion.
"Here we were, planning to aim a Predator missile at his copious posterior and he offers us aid. Shame on us," the official added.
Sources said Saeed interrupted a US and Indian flag-burning rally to make the offer. In fact, Saeed himself was unavailable for comment as he was busy arranging a suicide attack function. Apparently, he was supposed to perform the song "Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door" for the fidayeen. "It is not a knock-knock joke," the source explained.
Moved by Saeed's generosity, the US had decided to give even more aid to Pakistan, a huge chunk of which is expected to go to LeT's parent organization ISI — India's favourite agency. LeT is expected to use the funds to train more jehadis, buy explosives and bid for an IPL team.
Meanwhile, the American propensity to provide billions of dollars as well as military supplies to the very country that breeds terrorists and gives shelter to Osama bin Laden continues to baffle the rest of the world.
Mocktale's resident expert Iknow Jackshit blamed it on a strange condition afflicting a number of people around the world called Acquired Intelligence Deficiency Syndrome. "The disease is also widespread among voters in India as well as most of the population in Pakistan," he said.
Amid all these developments, India's premier intelligence agency — who Intel refused to sponsor as there was no "intel inside" — descended on the hotel room of a visiting Pakistani politician to question him.
However, they were disappointed to see it was former PM Shujat Hussain and not the attractive Hina Rabbani Khar. Sources called it a routine intelligence failure.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/mocktale/Will-US-accept-terror-chief-Saeeds-aid-offer/articleshow/17180295.cms?
No comments:
Post a Comment