Monday, December 10, 2012

Aliens land on Earth, fail to find intelligent life

By Despondent Correspondent | Oct 4, 2012, 01.42 PM IST

NEW DELHI: The aliens have landed. They look strange, talk gibberish, and eat just about anything. And no, they are not Chinese.

These strange exotic creatures landed in the middle of Delhi's India Gate and demanded to be taken to the king. Some folks immediately tried to book an appointment with Shah Rukh Khan but Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hain.

One citizen approached the aliens and informed him that we only have a Queen of Italian origin. Perhaps they could speak to our PM provided they speak in sign language as our PM is a man of few words. Also, he is not fluent in Alien.

The aliens agreed and an entourage headed for the PM's residence. It took them a while to reach due to traffic jams as some minister's convoy was passing through. The PM welcomed them with folded hands and immediately asked them to push some FDI into the country.

The government tried to accord them a red carpet welcome but the plan was scrapped due to opposition from Mamata Banerjee who doesn't like the colour red.

On being asked for the purpose of their visit, the alien spokesperson (or spokesalien if you prefer) said their choice of food was coal and they had heard the resource was freely available in India.

The PM appeared shocked at first. But showing remarkable composure and presence of mind he handled it the only way he could. He ordered an auction.

Meanwhile, the aliens were taken on a tour of the country. Like all foreign visitors, they made a beeline for the slums and snapped lots of pictures. One of them even wanted to book a plot in the area. Another person wanted to know what Rahul Gandhi was doing there.

They were also shown statues of Behen Mayawati. They recoiled with horror and some of them shielded their children's eyes and later lodged a protest claiming India had violated the Geneva convention by subjecting them to such cruelty.

The leader of the entourage also had a meeting with the opposition leaders. He is said to have marveled at the posture of the species despite missing a spine.

They concluded the visit by praising Indian ministers' love for coal and cash and showed a desire to replicate the famed Indian ability to reproduce at such an astounding rate. Their parting words were: "Your country loves to get screwed."

TOI Link: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/mocktale/Aliens-land-on-Earth-fail-to-find-intelligent-life/articleshow/16667075.cms?

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